ugh!

i really only deal with one painfull thing at a time overly well.

Becayse of this i am not dealing well at the moment.

My abdomen is really very swollen, so that is painfull to have anything touching it or moving at all.

I have a cold so it seems every mucel and bone in my body hurts and is acheing.

I have hickups that are really hurting with the whole swollen and looking preggers thing.

I feel exausted even though i got 13hours of sleep (broken up but still).

And my nose wont stop running. There is a good thing about the nose though, it seems to suggest the whole body acheing might be because of a cold and not something elce messing with me so it should clear up shortly i can hope.

One Flaw In Women

One Flaw In Women

Women have strengths that amaze men.....

They bear hardships and they carry burdens,

but they hold happiness, love and joy..

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy

and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in..

They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer

when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have..

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally..

They cry when their children excel

and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about

a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member,

yet they are strong when they

think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss

can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you

to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what

makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideas.

They give moral support to their

family and friends.

Women have vital things to say

and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Still waiting for the blood to flow

I an at that point or close to where this would be less annoying if i was acturaly bleeding or the blood showed up.

It still feels like i might get my period any minute, and yet still nothing (it comes and goes in waves, sorta. at times i feel okay, mostly if feels like period is due.)

I think if i end up in much pain come the weekend (family dinner) i will stay home since after i learned how much i aparently upset people i care about lately, i dont want to risk doing that again while there and on demerol and dumb with what i say/ how i talk and how i act. so i think if i need pain meds, or at least much i wont go....

though i worry they will take that personaly also. uhg. i just dont want people i love dislikeing me because i on mistake interupt and such things. Things i dont mean to do but cant seem to stop myself from doing when medicated.

I am still mad craving and teary.

Perhaps if pain dies down, or i give into meds i will go to groshery store to get some pasta sauce mixes (herbs that mix with water and oil) to put on my rice pasta so i dont have a meltdown tonight.

I love the ferguson family, and dont want to offend them at all so perhaps takeing myself out of the situation is the best way. At least when i am not thinking clearly.

i am awake though i should be sleeping right now. The reason, my body is a little confused.

I am getting the feelings my period might show up any minute since 8am today... except its not due for another 10 days (and not even naturaly, but because of medication i take, that i havent forgotten to take)

So for that reason i am on my laptop trying to stay quiet to let scott sleep. One oft the things i am doing is looking up recepies on my fave recepie site, somehow i ended up loged out and cant get back in since i have no idea my user name. Sucks because i have alot of things saved to that account that i have no where elce. Hopefully i will find a way to get my username.

dumb body. it feels like i will be bleeding at any moment.

Hates her life at the moment, or at least her bladder.

We just swtiched to nights since that is Scotts shift this week (though ended up early).

I just got out of bes at 6:40, it is now 7:15
So far, i have had to urinate 8 times.

First time was extreamly painfull (tears came, as was 2nd and third) still painfull but now some tears are only comming from the frustration.

Its looking like this is going to be a REALLY long day. When we go downstairs i think i will try being on the couch with my feet up, sometimes that seems to help slighty.

oh i wish i had those new meds i havent yet fully explained but havent been able to fill the perscription for since no compounding pharmacist handy. UGH!