Start of day 3 on Butrans

Today (day 2) i was feeling pain so stayed in bed since normaly i would take some pain pills and still not move much but with no pills as a choice i just didnt move at all really.

yesterday (at the start of day 2) i was finding scott talking to me really rather frustrating to the point i was about to break down into tears, i simply could not handle comunicating or at least not out loud in speach. If he was in the room it was slightly better but if he was out of sight i couldnt do it and was getting really really cranky about it i simply couldn't pricess the information i guess. I was also experiencing leg and arm cramps due to there being no dilauded in my body, or way way less then there has been since last october (when i started changing from demerol to dilauded) so i was extra annoyed due to simply how uncomfertable i was.
I had been feeling like i was in a fog all day before this inability to comunicate but the comunication might have been an issue already i just dont know since i was home alone for 13hours and i dont seem to be finding the issue as bad with comunication via writing or typing, still haveing some issues with the ability to think out what i want to say or get accross but not nearly as bad.

Today as i said i was in pain so didnt move much, and didn't feel to foggy over all just sleepy and mellow. Had a bad headache for a while, but cant say if thats a result of the butrans, or the fact it was raining here since i often get weather related pressure headaches. Now that S is home again it is quickly comming clear just how much communication out loud is still being an issue for me but today i could at least explain it to him to let him know it wasn't him that was driving me loony it was i couldnt handle information comming to me in that form let alone responding in a timely fashion. He even thought to ask about if it was in all forms and i clued in when i was texting him earlyer in the day it wasnt nearly the same level of issuse or when talking to friends over msn.

Also i feel really in a fog now but it could be that its kicking in more or that its the same as it was earlyer i am simply more tired at the moment who knows.
Hope it mellows out though seeing as i am about to pay some one a deposit for what i beleive is my largest purchase yet, and she is friendly and i was chatty to her when i saw her on sunday and looked at what i have now desided to buy (will explain when everything is finished an is all good) so she will likely expect me to be able to talk again, and yet today i dont really think i can handle it so i have been telling S all the things we have to ask or tell her when we see her next cause i simply am unsure if i can or will do it on my own.

All this said the patch has stayed on no issue, haven't scratched off and its right in reach of my hand when i am sleeping or resting. (on the middle front of my right thigh) and today it went through a shower with no issue, though i did avoid getting soap on it as much as possible.

Changes

Last Monday i had an appointment with my family doctor to get him to fill out some forms so i can reapply for the Ontario disability tax credit, since i had been mailed a letter saying it was time to have to redo that. My doctor filled it out again without much fuss, though i think i am less likely to be accepted this time around compared to last time simply due to the wording he used but will see and if rejected i can try appealing it. Fact of the matter is it doesn't effect me at all, at least not as life stands since you have to have an income for it to be use full and without an income i can't claim in the only one who can is Scott even though he doesn't pay any of my medical bills. He does help me financially so its okay but still its weird how it works for claiming.

Tuesday was an appointment with my good pain doctor, and after some chitchat it was decided he would try me on the butrans patch (starting off at 5mcg/h) with the likely hood of having to ramp up later. The patch means that i cant take any of my normal oral opioid pain medication however though so i delayed putting that patch on since i knew once it was on the first 2 weeks might be rather rough, the other thing was i had to taper off the dilaudid i was on as to not get withdrawal symptoms to severely, no matter what i knew i would get some but they weren't bad just some muscle cramps.

I put the patch on at about 7am (since we are on nights that was getting late in our evening) and about a half hour i put it on i was feeling weird and really drowsy but that is far more likely that i simply was tired then the patch having any effect but i am going to try to keep track of everything i feel for the first 3weeks or so.

i am feeling a little out of it now or perhaps just drowsy again but not sure what it is, might just be that i am in fact sleepy. I was fine when i walked over to the store earlier to get cash and some grosheries so i am unsure what is up but will keep updated.