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I live in chronic pain. The reason for my pain, is Endometriosis. I was diagnosed through surgery when I was 17. I have decided to have this blog, so that those in my life can get a peek into my day to day issues that affect my life in every way.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Still waiting for the blood to flow

I an at that point or close to where this would be less annoying if i was acturaly bleeding or the blood showed up.

It still feels like i might get my period any minute, and yet still nothing (it comes and goes in waves, sorta. at times i feel okay, mostly if feels like period is due.)

I think if i end up in much pain come the weekend (family dinner) i will stay home since after i learned how much i aparently upset people i care about lately, i dont want to risk doing that again while there and on demerol and dumb with what i say/ how i talk and how i act. so i think if i need pain meds, or at least much i wont go....

though i worry they will take that personaly also. uhg. i just dont want people i love dislikeing me because i on mistake interupt and such things. Things i dont mean to do but cant seem to stop myself from doing when medicated.

I am still mad craving and teary.

Perhaps if pain dies down, or i give into meds i will go to groshery store to get some pasta sauce mixes (herbs that mix with water and oil) to put on my rice pasta so i dont have a meltdown tonight.

I love the ferguson family, and dont want to offend them at all so perhaps takeing myself out of the situation is the best way. At least when i am not thinking clearly.

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