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I live in chronic pain. The reason for my pain, is Endometriosis. I was diagnosed through surgery when I was 17. I have decided to have this blog, so that those in my life can get a peek into my day to day issues that affect my life in every way.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Bladder, fuck off!

So this is day 3 my bladder is being a prick.

It would be really nice not to have to pee every 2-10minutes. That would be really nice.

Though i should be glas i dont have to pee that often and also have intence pain every time i pee like i had earlyer today for a couple hours.

Certainly does make going out sorta tricky, or at least dressing normal.

Scratch that, it still hurts to pee just not as bad. I am also in alot of endo pain right now to, so on max demerol. fun wow... not.

Yesterday i took more then perscribed demerol and was still crying from the pain (reolised later last night when i looked at the times i took them). Life can be a bitch sometimes!

The plan is to try to get out of the house before scott gets home so he can have some alone time that he seems to need these days. This mentod works best i think since i dont see him walk in the door and then have him take off as though he doesnt want to be around me, if i am not there when he gets home it cant really bug me. Even when i do get back in and he is still off on his own its jusy as though he isnt home yet, and not that he is avoiding me.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Christmas might still be okay!


I have personal "good news" and bad news haha.

Good news is now that I did the math today it appears that although I will have my period on Christmas it should show up days before Christmas eve day (our Christmas with Scott’s family) and Christmas and boxing day (our time with my family).

This math only could be figured out today though, seeing as my period came early.

Today it came. Although my cycle is longer than most women now, and much longer than my natural cycle, it wasn’t as long this time as it generally is while on my experimental drug. That drug is Centchroman, and since I am now stuck on my back today I should post about it. Anyways though my point is my cycle on that drug is generally 33 days. Today marked only 30 though. This is still a great improvement over my natural cycle of 24-26days and an impressive jump from what my cycle was only a 4years ago of 16-19 days.

So, yay I won’t necessarily feel like crap on Christmas :)


so i been trying this new med to help with bladder issues

update so far USELESS.

worst eppisode in about a month, right this moment.


i HATE by inners. i say inners because althought its just bladder really bad right now pain is starting to get worse and is due to spike with period tomorrow or friday.

Also if i did the math right my next really bad pain spell / crippling period will start on christmas eve... fucking joy.

i love chirstmas, way to very likely fuck it up body.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

So this is the micro-mini update about the cystoscopy appointment.

Basically, it was absolutely horrible. First issue was I was scared, the pain doc suggested I take Demerol prior to the procedure since he thought it would help me mellow out. Well turned out that day I was in pain anyways so I ended up on max Demerol before the procedure.

Good fucking thing to, since who did my cystocopy? A student, who I firmly believe never, did one before in his life since he asked the nurse how to do EVERYTHING. She also kept pointing out when he was messing up, but wouldn’t get the hint. Like when he over filled my bladder on 3 different occasions, and the overfilling stretched my bladder to the point I was internal bleeding. That of course made it harder to see inside if there was any blood in their without his doing.
So the procedure was extremely painful, but mainly only because the doctor had no idea what he was doing (that’s my guess at least). Then the main doc (the teacher) came in, pointed out some of the goofs the student made to him (the ones he could tell since I was clearly bleeding from his students work). He looked around inside. Then later we all met in his office and he informed me that although I am having so many weird symptoms that sound like IC he can’t actually diagnose it or anything since there was no proof of anything inside.

So I left then to go get my kidneys ultra sounded to see if there was anything weird there. There wasn’t. So there is no explanation for my issues, but he gave me a drug to help with the frequency issue (yet to try it) since it seems weird to treat one of like 5bad urinary issue symptoms and ignore the others and have no answers.
Then I got home, and had to pee... well I guess because of the tearing he did or something I kind of seemed to scab inside. So when I tried to pee it hurt more then I think any pain I have ever felt (and I have endo lol). I literally had to bite down on a towel in order to manage the pain of trying to pee.

Then came the blood.

Luckily by the next evening the bleeding from my urethra stopped.