Today marks 100days since i had my lumpectomy. One would assume this should mean i'm all healed up, i'm free of breast/arm pain and that my scar should be perhaps starting to fade.
You would be wrong
In reality i still have an open wound that requires daily care (saline irrigation, re-packing with products designed for tunneling wounds as mine was, and bandaging change), i still have a great deal of pain in my breast (both nociceptive pain and neuropathic pain), and of course my scar isn't starting to fade as the wound is still open.
Bonus: i still also have a fever that i've now had for at least 2+months now (started taking temp one day i felt crazy feverish, that day i was 102F when my norm is 96.6), and quite likely still have an antibiotic resistant staph infection (not MRSA, this one has another name cause its sulfate sensitive) deep inside my breast despite far to many courses of antibiotics, so much so that i've now been told i have become immune to the only antibiotics the Staph infection WAS sensitive to. This means if the most resent culture swab taken shows i do in fact still have an infection there is no way left to treat it to my understanding, so i have to get better "on my own", and that this persistent fever and pain are "my new normal"
So glad the dr's felt the need to do an excisional biopsy (Lumpectomy) that ended up all being for a lump that was simply scaring.... Not.
Now after having that scar tissue lump removed that was less than a 1cmx1cm large, i am left with a ball of scar tissue in my breast thats got to be close to 4cmx4cm and who knows it may still get bigger as i am not healed yet.
I keep meaning to go into more detail on this blog about all the courses of antibiotics, about the wound how it would heal some than stop for weeks on end, and in time about the "care" i was given by my surgeon. I want to do this if even only for my own record of everything, but it means digging into something that can make me very upset, and crushed. In time i hope to be able to without me becoming a mess, perhaps that will be possible once i'm healed, time will tell. For now its about trying to ignore the situation, do everything "right" i can to encourage my body to heal on its own and try to cope with the pain in my breast (in adition to everything else, yay) the biggest issue i find is it messes up the use of my left arm to as the pain radiates from my breast, into armpit and beyond so my left arm is super weak at best and to soar to move normaly also.
Its such a mess.
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